At the time, I attended a private school called Maryvale College. I was the champion of the Maryvale sports day every single year. and my mother won the moms' trophy (奖杯)every single year. Why? Because she was always chasing me to kick my ass, and I was always running not to get my ass kicked. Nobody ran like me and my mom.
She was a thrower, too. Whatever was next to her was coming at you. If it was something breakable, I had to catch it and put it down. If it broke, that would be my fault, too, and the ass-kicking would be that much worse.
We hada Tom and Jerry relationship.me and my mom. She was the strict disciplinarian(纪律执行者)；I was naughty as shit. She would send me out to buy groceries, and I wouldn't come right home because I'd be using the change from the milk and bread to play arcade(街机)games at the supermarket. I'd drop a coin in, time would fly, and the next thing I knew there' d be a woman behind me with a belt. It was a race. I'd take off out the door and through the dusty street, clambering over walls. Ducking through backyards. It was a normal thing in our neighborhood. She could go at a full sprint(冲刺)in high heels, but if she really wanted to come after me she'd kick her shoes off while still going at top speed.
When I was little she always caught me, but as I got older I got faster, and when speed failed her she'd use her wits. If I was about to get away she'd yell," Stop! Thief!" She'd do this to her own child. She'd yell" Thief!" knowing it would bring the whole neighborhood out against me, and then I'd have strangers trying to grab me and tackle me, and I'd have to duck and dive them as well, all the while screaming." I'm not a thief! I'm her son!”
