It's hard to talk to Dad sometimes. His silence about his feelings and thoughts made him mysterious and hard to see through. You could never break his hard shell and get to know him. And he seemed to want to stay that way too.
But a year ago when my relationship with my wife and career took a hit, I needed my dad to pull back the curtain so I could see him as real and accessible. I was facing serious problems and I wanted to know whether he had faced them before and how he had found his way, because I felt like I had lost mine. In desperation, it occurred to me that sending an email might be the key, so I wrote him one, telling him about my regrets and fears, and I asked him to answer, if he felt like it.
Two weeks later, it showed up in my inbox:a much-thought, three-page letter. Dad, a 68-year-old retired technologist and grandfather of four, had carefully considered my message, and crafted a response. He mentioned his lost love, the foolish mistake he made in career and the stupid pride he had between him and his parents. He comforted me that "life will still find its right track despite many of its twists and turns".
I closed the email and started to cry, because I wished I had opened up earlier but was grateful it wasn't too late. I cried because at 33, in the midst of my own struggles, his letter instantly put me at ease. And I cried because in the end, it was so simple: I just had to hit "Send".
We've since had many email exchanges. This increasing communication opened a door into his world. My problems haven't been magically solved, but getting to know my dad better has made the tough thing more manageable and life sweeter. It's hard to talk to Dad sometimes, but I'm glad I found a way to talk to mine.
