When I was a kid, I used to see happiness as success. I thought I was a successful kid, for I always found1in doing what I like.
However, my view of success gradually changed as I grew up. In middle school and high school, my family made me2that academic excellence meant success and they expected me to be a top student. Such expectations on me turned out to be unbearable3. Though I had pushed myself very hard, I couldn't really 4during classes. My mind was wandering somewhere else. As a5, I only got a slightly above average academic record. This left my6disappointed. Later they transferred me to a new high school. I had to say good-bye to all my7and buried myself in study. But things didn't get better. I became more aware that I had 8far behind my classmates. I wondered9they were always performing well at school. I felt eager to be like them,10, I filled my schedule with as many things as possible. Unfortunately, I11to catch up with them.
This is not the end. During college years, I12over 30 part-time jobs and received a few responses, but no13. This fall, I requested a variety of internship (实习) again,14with more rejections. I began wondering, "Is there just something I15but everyone else has? What am I doing wrong?"
Reflecting on these experiences, I've realized that the source of my unhappiness wasn't my actual failures, but the16why I thought I would failed. I have been trying my best to meet my parents'17or to be someone else. When I can't do that, this form of failure keeps me thinking that I am not18. I have ignored that I'm good at19else. From now on, no matter what happens, I won't be20by the past any more. My newest version of success is to be adapted to who I am.
