Parents often believe that they have a good relationship with their teenagers (青少年). But now, Joanna and Henry notice a change in their elder son: suddenly he seems to be talking far more to his friends than to his parents. "The door to his room is always shut." Joanna notes.
Tina and Mark notice similar changes in their 14-year-old daughter. "She used to cuddle up (蜷伏) with me on the sofa and talk," says Mark. "Now we joke that she does this only when she wants something, sometimes she wants to be treated like a little girl and sometimes like a young lady. The problem is figuring out which time is which. "
Before age 11, children like to tell their parents what's on their minds. "In fact, parents are first on the list." says Michael Riera, writer of Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers. "This completely changes during the teen years." Riera explains(解释). "They talk to their friends first, then maybe their teachers, and their parents last."
Parents who know what's going on in their teenagers' lives are in the best position to help them. To break down the wall of silence, parents should create chances to understand what their children want to say, and try to find ways to talk and write to them. And they must give their children a mental(心理的) break, for children also need freedom, though young. Another thing parents should remember is that to be a friend, not a manager, with their children is a better way to know them.
