I had been acting in school for a few years. When I got a rough role in a play, I, only a junior in my high school, was excited that my inspiring drama teacher and director had trusted me with the part.
We had little time to prepare and I would never forget reading the lines for the first time. At first the dialogue was lively, but then it became quite long and boring. To my surprise, my character had one disrespectful line that complained about his bad luck. I had never said something like that on stage before. Uncomfortable as I felt about it, I had never thought of making myself heard to make a change. I was weak, went silent, and accepted the line as it was.
At our first rehearsal (彩排), I whispered, the line and hoped with so many distractions on stage that the director wouldn't notice. Luckily, she didn't. Over three wild weeks of rehearsals, I convinced myself that I could keep faking it. Then, when the curtain finally rose with an audience, maybe I would feel fine about saying the line just once as loudly as I could.
On the night of the open dress rehearsal, I was nervous to see an old couple, the Ehlers, seated in the hall. They were close friends of our family and I had no idea they would be there. When the big moment arrived, with nervousness racing through my body, I went for it. I remember the moment quite clearly. Where I stood. How it sounded. How I felt.
After the show, the Ehlers met me with cheers, a warm hug, and some brief dialogue of their own. While talking with them, I was overwhelmed by mixed feelings of regret and shame.
注意：
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"Jason, that was quite some language. You surprised us," Mrs. Ehlers looked at me.
……
I said goodbye to the couple and waited in the drama room until our director appeared.
