Do you often compare yourself to other people? Comparisons can help to make decisions and motivate you but they can also pull you into a comparison trap.
Whether it's the number of goals you've scored at football or how many books you've read, it's easy to compare yourself to someone else. Scientists say it's a natural behaviour that helps humans learn from each other, live happily together and achieve more. Although comparing can be good for you, it's not always helpful and you can find yourself stuck in a comparison trap. This is when you always measure yourself against others and base your feelings on how well they seem to be doing.
Becky Goddard-Hill is a child therapist (someone who helps children understand their feelings) and author of Create Your Own Confidence. She says that comparisons can make us feel good and bad about ourselves. "Comparing up" means seeing someone doing better than you and using that to inspire yourself to aim higher and try harder. However, Goddard-Hill says, "Sometimes it can make you feel rubbish about yourself and knock your confidence." "Comparing down" is when you see someone who seems like they're not doing as well as you. This might make you feel you're doing well, says Goddard-Hill, but it can also stop you wanting to improve.
If your feelings depend on what other people are doing, "Surround yourself with cheerleaders," suggests Goddard-Hill. Notice how people make you feel and spend time with friends who celebrate your strengths rather than compare themselves to you. If you follow social media accounts that make you feel you are failing in any way, unfollow them. "Find ones that make you laugh or show you lovely places instead," she says. Finally, focus on your own achievements and how you can improve. "The best person you can compete with is yourself," says Goddard-Hill.
