Before I can tell you what happened to me, you first must learn about my job: perform underwater repairs. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to office. It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is a water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver (潜水员) through a garden pipe.
Now, this all sounds like a wonderful plan, and I've used it several times.
What I do when I get to the bottom is take the pipe and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bottom started to itch(痒). So, of course, I scratched(挠) it.
This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom started to feel hot. I pulled the pipe out from my back, thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done.
In pain, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish (水母) and pumped it directly into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
I immediately informed the dive director of my situation over the communicator. His reply was unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I gave up the dive. As I climbed out of the water, the doctor, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bottom. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop (排泄) for two days because my bottom was swollen.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bottom.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.
