People who realize and master the art of small talk can use it to improve relationships. Small talk can lead to "big" talk — more important discussions. Using small talk, you can achieve big results. But many people do have fears that hold them back from making small talk.

For one thing, those who refuse to make small talk usually fear the unknown. When I was little, my mom said, "Don't talk to strangers!" For some people, that childhood fear of strangers continues into adulthood.

 Suppose you are at a business networking event and have checked out who is there and found potential (潜在的) conversation partners. You're ready to make your move, but there are butterflies in your stomach. You are too frightened to introduce yourself to total strangers. 

Consider a different situation for the next networking event you attend. To overcome your nervousness, you can think of yourself as an event's host and not its guest. As a host, you would introduce yourself to people you don't know and introduce them to others. You can play the role of the host even though you are not the actual host. Get in the habit of holding out your hand first and saying, "Hi, my name is ..."

 Another reason why people refuse to open their mouth is the fear of rejection（拒绝）. Anytime you open your mouth and speak, you risk rejection. If you never talk to people, you won't be rejected. But if you never talk to people, you will also be very lonely. The best way I've found to overcome the fear of rejection is to focus on how I feel when I am accepted.  

 So ask yourself: what do I have to lose? Nothing! What do I have to gain? Possibly everything! Think back to when you first met your best friend or any important person in your life. How did it all start? You probably started with small talk.