No one is perfect. We all make mistakes from time to time. It's just part of being human. While some mistakes are minor and don't affect anyone but ourselves, others may be major and affect one or more people—those work for or with us, our friends and loved ones. The following strategies can help you get the apology right.
Imagine their perspective. You're highly recommended to think about how the things you said or did wrong would have made you feel if it were your boss or friend or loved one on the giving end. Use the knowledge you gain from this exercise to create a roadmap for your own apology.
When someone's feelings have been hurt, they want to know that you recognize the emotions that they're feeling, and that you are taking steps to mend whatever damage has been done. Take time to acknowledge and talk through the other person's feelings, and encourage them to speak freely and honestly.
Restore a sense of "us". When you wrong someone in some way, you also damage the trust that you've taken so long to build. "Remind the injured party of your shared history, your commonalities, your shared goals. Reassure him or her that you are on the same team, and have no intention of letting the team down again." Social psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson said.
Know your audience. Your apology should be tailored to the audience that you're giving it to. An apology you make to your boss for missing a deadline is going to be quite different from the apology you make to a friend (or spouse) for forgetting his/her birthday.
A. That's when we should apologize.
B. Acknowledge their feelings and values.
C. But healing work is the work of the brave.
D. In other words, put yourself in their shoes for a moment.
E. Trust can take months or years to build, but it can be lost in a second.
F. Make sure you consider the audience when you craft—and deliver—your apology.
G. Done right, apologies can settle conflict, repair feelings, and improve relationships.
