I remember playing a lot when I was younger and being filled with a sense of openness, curiosity and joy 1 , my attitude began changing from having fun to perfectionism Instead of being present and 2 the process, I started focusing on performance The more I did this, the more anxious and 3 I grew.
1 first developed perfectionist when I was 4 piano lessons in school I got the idea that I had to 5 each note again and again to perform each song perfectly I started hating playing the piano and eventually 6 My perfectionism 7 into other areas of my life, too In school, I 8 myself to get straight A's At this time in my life, if I did anything less, I would feel rather9 and think it was a failure.
It took me several years to find happiness again. One of the major things that helped me do so was recovering a sense of 10 About this time, my friend Amy and I started taking fencing(击剑)lessons together I was quite bad at it, but it didn't 11 I didn't care about performing perfect moves 12 , I cared about being present and staying open and curious I felt free and 13 ,and I realized that I had been 14 from such pleasure for many years Fencing helped me rediscover play and leave perfectionism behind, which eventually made my life a (an) 15 .
