I ask every student I interview for admission to my institution, Pitzer College, the same question, "What do you look forward to the most in college?" I was astonished and delighted recently when a student replied, "I look forward to the possibility of failure." Of course, this is not how most students respond to the question when sitting before the person who can make decisions about their academic futures, but this young man took a risk.

"You see, my parents have never let me fail," he said. "When I want to take a chance at something, they remind me it's not a safe route to take. Taking a more demanding course or trying an activity I may not succeed in, they tell me, will ruin my chances at college admission."

I wish I could tell you this is an uncommon story, but kids all over the world admit they are under great pressure to be perfect. When I was traveling in China last fall and asked a Chinese student what she did for fun, she replied: "I thought I wasn't supposed to tell you that? I wouldn't want you to think I am not serious about my work!"

Students are usually in shock when I laugh and tell them I never expect perfection. Of course, this goes against everything they've been told. How could a dean (院长) of admission at one of America's most selective institutions not want the best and the brightest? The reality is, perfection doesn't exist, and we don't expect to see it in a college application. In fact, admission officers tend to question students who present themselves as individuals without shortcomings.

We get most excited when we read an application that seems real. It's so rare to hear stories of defeat. If their perspectives are of lessons learned, these applicants tend to jump to the top at highly selective colleges. We believe an error in high school should not define the rest of your life, but how you respond could shape you forever.