One year, I was burned by hot water, which left me with some permanent, ugly scars on my arms. Growing up, I tried to hide those scars. Even in the hot summer, I'd wear shirts that had long sleeves which could cover all my scars. I feared being laughed at by other kids, although many loved me because I was nice and kind. I saw myself as different.
At 12 years old, I went to junior high school. On the first day of school, I found that we had swimming class every week and we were required to change into swimsuits in the open locker room before the class. This meant I would have to undress before the other girls. They would see my scars.
"Would you feel better if I talked to your teacher to see whether you could change your clothes after the other girls are gone?" my mother asked. "Yeah," I said quietly. "I'm afraid they'll laugh at me."
My mother looked at me. Even though she may have been hurting for me inside, she didn't let me see it. The next day, my mother met with my teacher and they worked out a solution: I would wait until the other girls got dressed and went to the class, and then I would put on my swimsuit and be allowed to be late. I was relieved.
But that night as I lay in bed, I felt like a coward(胆小鬼). I didn't want to be different and to be picked on because I was allowed to do things the other girls didn't get to do. It was then that I knew what I had to do.
The next morning, as I got ready for school, I told my mother, "I think I might go ahead and put on my swimsuit like everyone else. I don't want to be different." Surprised, she hugged me and said, "I'm proud of you. But Stacie, if you change your mind, I'll support you."
That day, I felt nervous because I knew that I was going to change my clothes in the presence of other girls for the first time.
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"Okay, girls, it's time to go in and put on your swimsuits!" the teacher said and blew her whistle.
To my surprise, they appeared concerned and one girl asked gently, "Do the scars hurt?"
Li Hua
