A conversation with a good listener is like a good meal—we walk away feeling satisfied and happy.Here are 4 ways to make your conversation partner feel like you're fully tuned in to their personal radio station.

    Making your conversation partner feel safe starts with two things: an open mind and keeping judgment to yourself. Just as immersing（沉浸）yourself in a novel requires suspension of disbelief, immersing yourself in listening requires suspension of opinions or advice. While judgments may appear into your head, set them to the side.

    Ask questions to follow your natural curiosity.

    When you're interested, ask questions.Ask for examples. Ask for details. Following your natural curiosity by asking questions not only shows you are listening and interested, but almost always produces an interesting story.

Listen with your whole body.

    In many a kindergarten classroom, teachers emphasize something called “whole body listening”. It goes like this: use your eyes to watch nonverbal（非语言）, your brain to think about what is being said, your heart to feel emotions» and keep the rest of your body quiet to show respect. But many of us lose it over time, especially as life gets busy. The result? We often try to multitask while listening.

    Validate（使生效）with simple phrases.

    Keep in your back pocket some validating words and phrases to show you've heard someone.

    “Of course.” “That makes sense.” “Naturally.” “Clearly.” “For sure.”In conversation, combining those little phrases: “Of course you feel that way.” or “That makes total sense.” doesn't necessarily convey agreement, but it does convey something even bigger： acceptance.

A. Create safety.

B. Devote yourself to listening.

C. It's appealing to talk about your own experience.

D. We half-listen while getting things done or staring at a screen.

E. Think like a journalist and ask what, when, where, why or how.

F. But being a good listener goes way beyond just not interrupting or nodding your head.

G. All of these statements confirm a person's experience or feelings as worthy and accepted.