When I was younger, bedtime was always my favorite part of the day. Wearing soft pajamas (睡衣裤) and with Lan, my stuffed monkey, in my arms, I felt no pressure at all.
I named Lan after my uncle when I compared Lan's long arms and legs to his. One night I ran up to Uncle Lan at a family party and told him I had named my monkey after him. His eyebrows wrinkled (起皱纹) in confusion, and then a chuckle (哈哈大笑) escaped from his lips. I guess he didn't understand how important it was to me.
Even if Uncle Lan didn't think my monkey was special, I certainly did. I dressed him in a white baby nightgown (睡衣). My mother thought that Lan was the best-dressed stuffed animal in the world. Yes, he was certainly a fashionable creature. The strong cologne (科隆香水) I used on him years ago makes him still smell "pretty".
For a long time, Lan went everywhere with me. He was my best friend, and I told him everything. But when I turned twelve, I realized I was too old for stuffed animals. I thought people would think I was babyish, so I put him in the cupboard with the rest of my teddy bears and dolls. I begged him to understand why I was doing this, but at the same time I longed to talk to him again.
It took me several years to realize that it was OK to miss Lan. I know now that maturity (成熟) doesn't only mean growing up and taking on more responsibility (责任). It also means holding on to your childhood and acting young sometimes.
Lan has been with me since I was six years old. Holding him in my arms connects me with my past and my present as I continue growing and understanding myself.
