We grow up — unavoidably — with a strong attachment to a plan A, that is, an idea of how our lives will go and what we need to do to achieve our particular set of well-defined goals.

But then, for some of us and at one level all of us, life turns out to have made a few other plans. A sudden injury puts a certain career forever out of reach. A small but significant error changes everything about how crucial others view us. And so, promptly, we find we have to give up on plan A altogether, which can feel devastating. We alternately weep and anger at the turn of events. It is for such moments that we should consider one of life's most vital skills: that of developing a plan B．

The first element involves fully acknowledging that no one gets through life with all their careful plan As. Plan As simply do not work out all the time. Something unexpected, shocking and hateful regularly comes along, not only to us, but to all human beings.

The further point is to realize that we are, despite moments of confusion, absolutely capable of developing very satisfactory plan Bs. Adults are good at keeping needing to refresh in our minds and drawing comfort from in anxious moments. We have enormous capacities to act and to adapt. Perhaps we'll have to leave town forever, maybe we'll have to resign an occupation we spent a decade nurturing — until we rediscover our potential plan B muscle. In reality, there would be a possibility to relocate, to start afresh in another field, to turn around the terrible event. There was no one script for us written at our birth, and nor does there need to be only one going forward.

Crucially, we don't need to know right now what our plan Bs might be or anticipate every frustration that might come our way; we should simply feel confident that, were the universe to command it, we would know how to find a very different path.